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November 3rd, 2008
08:51 pm - T Score...
Anyone know anything about T scores? I got a 67. The minimum requirement for the academy is 42. I wonder what everyone else got... I wish they gave more info than, "You got 67, we might call you." Whatev...
Current Music: M-Flo/BoA - Love Bug
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October 18th, 2008
11:15 pm - Well well well....
Hello, Mr. LJ. If you're looking for the seemingly obligatory apology for neglecting you, look no further because you'll never get it. What brings me here? I have no idea. Something is stirring in me that I can't put a finger on. Inexplicable symptoms:
1. Loss of appetite. Actually, up until recently, things have been going well. I've lost about 40 pounds since a year ago or so. I remember thinking, "Man I need to stay under 180." "Alright cool, let's get under 170." Skip ahead a few months and I was thinking, "150 is my goal so I can get another tattoo." The other day I weighed in at 138.8. 138.8!!! I'm a couple pounds heavier now after Las Vegas but that's besides the point. Recently I've found myself not really wanting to eat. OK that actually sounds bad. It's not like that. It's more like me not remembering that eating is an activity I'm supposed to do a few times a day. A short while ago, I'd starve myself to 1500 calories or so a day just to get my body to burn some extra weight but the last week or so, it's like I don't even realize that I should eat unless someone says, "Hey, let's eat."
2. I abuse myself more than normal. STOP. Put your phone down, Mr. LJ. I am not hurting myself on purpose for some dark sad depressing reason. Similarly to...OK is that word hard to say for anyone else? Similalrlryrlry? Much like numero uno up above, I started running here and there to keep my body in some sort of a decent shape. But now I feel like there is something missing in my day if I don't go for a quick (sometimes long) run. I hope I'm not alarming people, I really don't ABUSE myself by running until I drop. I just get this sort of calming result out of it and it gives some weird closure to my day (I usually run at night.)
3. I sleep less. When I go to bed, I usually spend a few hours letting my mind tire out thinking about millions of random things until God knows when. Tonight, if it's anything like the last entire week or so, I will stare at the ceiling with nothing but a cobweb on my mind until God knows when.... and then a little bit longer. It's actually quite a disturbing change of pace.
I think to myself, "Am I depressed? Not eating, not sleeping, exercising more than necessary... that sounds like a depressed person!" Oddly enough, I feel great. That's right, great. Well it's not odd that I feel great, I generally always feel great. I'm just concerned about some strange habits that are forming...
There's a sequel to this entry. There is more news to be told, and it shall be told. Until next time, Mr. LJ, until next time....
Oh yeah, so I wear two wristbands. "Apathy" and "Nihilism". For the longest time I was just wearing them for goofs. I mean come on, after all those inspirational wristbands that came out, whoever thought of one that said apathy or nihilism was a comical genius. Anyways, I need some new ones. After I don't know how many years of wearing these bad boys, it's time to tell the world that I'm really not an apathetic nihilistic jerk. I just can't take them off because I'll feel naked. They've been there for YEARS. So someone find me something more fashionable to wear i.e. not rubber or find some way to ween me off these horrid ones. I still love them and will keep them in a dusty shoe box somewhere, but they need to be retired. Sorry to all my apathetic nihilist fans out there. But then again, why would you care?
Current Mood: determined
Current Music: Love Dance - Cirque Du Soleil Ka Soundtrack
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July 17th, 2008
01:15 am - Welp...
I quit me job.
I apply to the Sac PD by early Aug and find out how that works out by early Sept. I have enough money to last that long and a little bit longer in case it doesn't work out. In the meantime, I'll be up in Sac fixing up the house and in the bay when I have spare time to hang out and/or work with the grandpa for some extra cash.
Still trying to get in better shape. Normally I'd say I'm a fat slob but I have been doing well and it's paying off.
I want to try and keep in touch with everyone that I can so if you are able to, help me out with that. You all know how bad I am on my own.
I'll update more now that I'll have the time. Muah.
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June 18th, 2008
12:17 am - If only hanging out meant...
NOT going out to eat somewhere. Time to enter Nazi diet mode tomorrow.
I feel unmotivated to work.
I am poor again from unforeseen expenses.
I am tired of waiting.
Regardless, I'm pretty happy with things right now.
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June 15th, 2008
04:24 pm - Life is....
the same.
What I really want to do is get out on a golf course.
Take care, all.
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May 27th, 2008
01:36 pm - Everything....
is awesomely stressful right now. Hooray for that.
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May 10th, 2008
02:02 am - I need some votes...
on my next tattoo. It's going to be a DNA chain, but instead of A,T,C, and G, there will be all the initials of my family members. My family has gone through hell and back together more than once and they are all partly responsible for who and what I am. I need some opinions on the following designs. Keep in mind there won't be any color or fancy background stuff, but these are just for an idea. Which one strikes people as "neato!" The tattoo will probably go down my ribcage on one side.
( Possible designs... )
Yeah none of these images actually have the base pairs but hopefully everyone knows what it should look like, or gets the idea.
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01:20 am - Life....
is good.
Lani and I are getting a house in the very near future. This means I need to leave Namco and find a job that pays real money. My first order of business when I finally leave is to get my ass in court and erase my probation. At that point I can apply at the Davis PD. Their job site has been under construction for quite some time now. It's slightly annoying, because I have to email or call people for information. I emailed a while back and got some vague answers about my best options so I feel kinda uncomfortable emailing again with the same questions. If all else fails I can apply to the Sacramento academy that should start in July. Wow, that means I need to figure out what the deal is in Davis ASAP so I can actually have time to go through the necessary steps in Sac. Yeah I'm kinda talking to myself at this point.
So it's gonna be a bummer leaving Namco. I feel like I have finally found my place there, and that people "know" me. Oh well, this is life.
The struggle with weight goes fairly well.
Yeah, I can't really remember the reason for beginning a post. I guess I'm just happy that I'm finally happy to quit goofing around and actually WANT to do something. The only thing I have missed while having a full-time job is the spontaneity I used to enjoy. I miss being able to just go drive and spend a few days with random people. I suppose this, is also life.
Don't get me wrong, I'm content with life. What else can one ask for? I just wish there was more time. Yeah yeah, nobody has enough time, I know. If only the body was able to function on just 2 hours of sleep....
Does anybody have a set of dumbells they don't want? I need to buy some.
I'm excited for Castman Presents: Beer Pong Tourney '08. Looking at last years photos.....whoa! I had quite the beer gut of destiny going on. Go Latter Day Sinners!!!
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April 21st, 2008
10:49 pm - Another tattoo....
I want one, but I'm not letting myself get one until I'm 150. I want it somewhere on my chest or stomach but I simply won't do it if I'm going to be flabby. Period.
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April 1st, 2008
11:00 pm - Skipping the Cabo post for now...
Rory, you're pretty awesome about being happy and ignoring all of life's annoyances, so why does a single bad night at Twin Creeks make you hate EVERYTHING!? I think it's because such a large chunk of my life was devoted to playing the game. I even went to school to perfect my arm, and this is how I repay me?! With SUCKAGE!? Get it together, Rory. Get it together.
::sigh:: The things that DO make me hate the world.....it's kind of sad.
Current Music: 슈퍼주니어 - Marry U(?)
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March 18th, 2008
11:00 pm - I've got nothing...
I'm pretty much wasting time I guess by posting this. Not much going on. The Master Bakers got destroyed tonight in our first game of the season, it was sucktacular.
Work is work. Nothing good, nothing bad. I feel like nobody cares if people do good work there. As long as your not doing bad. I guess that's kind of a good thing since I am not the type to be satisfied doing anything less than par. Yet, I can already sense Dae-Ho's frustration with the potential of never moving up at all, and I've only been there for ...... a really short time. On the bright side, it's only temporary. I'm going to look into getting off probation early. Apparently it's not impossible at all, I just don't have the 1000 (on average) bucks to get it done. I could theoretically do it myself only having the cost of court fees but I don't know how that would work out. If I could do this in the next few months, that would be great.
I finally got under 160 this morning. 159.2! I lost like 15 pounds the two months I've been home and then I floated around 161 for almost 2 weeks. Uber frustrating. I average about 1000 calories and 3 miles a day right now. I know that's pretty bad as far as food goes but it was necessary to lose a big chunk of the fat I was carrying around. Hopefully I can start eating more and work in a little more lifting because I'm really tired and weak everyday. It was worth it though. I wonder where the 15 pounds came off from, though. I don't look like I lost that much weight. ::shrug:: Oh well, my endless struggle with poundage continues....
Dae-Ho moves soon. =o[ I might have to sacrifice some of my beer money so I can drive out to Castro Valley just to hang. No, I don't really have money put away for beer.
Byebye.
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March 4th, 2008
11:40 pm - ::weep::
I thought I was invincible. I thought I was safe. I thought I was immune to the plague. I thought. Goodnight cruel world.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/sad.gif) crushed
Current Music: Monkey Majik - Sotsugyō, soshite mirai e.
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February 20th, 2008
09:54 pm - Time to update...
Hi everyone.
Life has been pretty good. Not perfect but good enough. I got a job working at Namco. Thanks to Dae-Ho for getting that ball rolling. I figured it would be something enjoyable to do while I wait for the probation status to clear. The job itself is pretty nice. I don't get paid a lot but I expected it going in so I can't complain too much. I only plan on it being temporary and I think it is going to be good experience working in a "professional" environment. So far after a little over a month I haven't had to do too much in terms of stressing myself by putting in tons of hours. I'm just happy to have goals in a workplace, and I'm finally used to a set schedule of waking up in the morning and going to bed at a decent hour. It's nice to be a part of working society.
I haven't quite put a finger on it yet, but something has been driving me to be healthier. Usually my health crazes are prompted by something stupid and only last for a small moment in time. I can't even count the number of LJ posts I have written exclaiming my oath to being healthy. In any case, I am eating less than 2000 calories a day and making the effort to run or at least work out every other day. In maybe 2 days time, I will crack into the 150's for the first time in I don't know how many years. I have sacrificed a lot of muscle (yes I had some) to drop the initial few pounds but I feel really healthy and less self conscious while walking around.
I've been more satisfied with life as well. I feel like I'm pretty happy in general, but I don't know, I have been feeling more content with myself. Hrm I don't know if that makes sense.
I'll stop that until I find a better way of explaining it...
I went to Tahoe this last weekend. It was extremely fun. I got to see Lani, Goose, Gus, Jake, Carlos, Emily, Emily, Brian, Melissa, and a couple new people. It was very relaxing to spend 3 days in the snow and to just shoot the shit with everyone. I got into a semi drunken argument with Goose that has been bothering me the last couple of days but I'm probably just being paranoid and stubborn. Too bad it's hard for people to say things earlier rather than later when it comes out in a big unnecessary explosion. Things would be so much better if people could talk rationally with each other. I don't want to get into it in too much detail but I need to put it down somewhere to help get it off my mind. I just felt I was being picked on in a moment of frustration. It seemed unfair to me to feel like I was being portrayed as a person with a flaw that I don't necessarily exhibit. I try and form all of my thoughts on everything (including myself) as objectively and unbiased as I can, so I am the first person to point out my own flaws. So when people were saying things about me that I did not agree with, it made me extremely angry because I was sad that this is how people felt, even though it wasn't true. I guess all I can do is say, Goose, whatever comments I make in circumstances like that, I never mean them and I would never expect someone to take offense to them. Especially my close friends. But yeah, Tahoe was really fun and it bums me out to have to wait an entire year for the next one. Boo to that.
And on a completely unrelated note to the rest of this entry: I hate double standards/hypocrites. I can't and won't stand it. End of story.
Au revoir!
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January 11th, 2008
December 30th, 2007
08:38 pm - Maaaaaan!
I have no reason (that I can think of) to be bummed right now. But for some odd reason, I can't stop wanting to just lay on the bed and sleep. Not because I'm tired, but because I don't want to do anything else. It's very rare that I feel like this, but I can't stand it when I do. On top of being depressed (or whatever it is) for no reason what so ever, I get even more upset just because I hate the idea I'm depressed! It's especially aggravating not knowing what is wrong. How can you fix it?
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December 29th, 2007
04:30 am - Aaaaand....
BALEETED!
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December 25th, 2007
12:13 am - Waiting....
sucks.
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December 23rd, 2007
09:55 pm - Oh Peyton...
I keep hearing him telling me to buy bigger shirts. Now I have to run. F.
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04:47 pm - Hello, LJ
I have no interesting way to begin posting again.
Hopefully in Jan I will be working with or near Dae-Ho at Namco. I find it amusing that such a low position job can seem so cutthroat. I just hope it's fun and that I can stay there for at least 6 months.
I am the winnar of my first season in Craphat (Eric and Dae-Ho's fantasy football league). I will most likely retire and remain undefeated champ.
I miss the snow.
I got somewhat shafted in the guild White Elephant party. Actually, I didn't mind the gift I received until I realized it is a gift that has been passed around before. I wish I chose a heavier gift to open. DOH! (I'm really kidding, I don't mind at all. I'll take the bullet.)
Dallas went 13-2! Congrats to Mr. Phillips with a franchise best.
As for as mentally and emotionally, I'm doing as good as usual. There's always some kind of family drama or something else to worry about in life, but what can you do about that stuff? Nothing, really. Happy holidays.
=o]
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November 7th, 2007
06:48 pm - Reerun's return. Return of Reerun?
I kind of forgot about LJ for a while. In the latest news, I officially have to wait one more year to get off probation in order to be eligible for the police departments near home. After that, I'm golden. What to do for a year....
How is the rest of the world?
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reerun's journal